Was I inspired by them or inspired to be them?
Consumed.
A few months after starting Brie & Blondie homestead my message inboxes on social media were getting really busy. The blog was growing just like I hoped and dreamed for.. Right? I poured hours of effort into well thought out posts and crafting beautiful imagery.
I caught myself spending an abnormal amount of time on Instagram posting, reading messages, following, posting, liking, consuming, internalizing. Comparing. Following. Liking. Consuming. Posting.
All of the sudden my time was not my own, I was operating life on unhealthy breeding grounds “wanting” and “wishing” for MORE than what I had.
The problem with more.
The problem with more, is that more is never enough. It’s an unattainable measure with temporary happiness.
We spend our time fixated on social media for entertainment- scrolling watching everyone making memories with their family, wasting time that we could have spent making memories with our own.
-or-
Scroll: I love that flooring…automatically my flooring is crap. Scroll: I love that bathroom mirror….target.com here I come. Scroll: That family is baking cookies…we need to bake cookies. -None of this because it’s what WE wanted to do but because THEY are doing it.
The bandwagon has never been so full. (P.S. What the world is a bandwagon??)
Is this form of communication/entertainment adding value to our life or just leaving us discontent?
We are more concerned about who likes us online than who likes us in real life. I’m saying that one again…
We are more concerned about who likes us online than who likes us in real life.
My kids are learning from me.
Recently, I was graced with an experience that was eye opening–Young kids are watching and listening to the way their mom and older women view their bodies, talents and weaknesses. My kids heard me cut myself down even in joking matters, but my benign, innocent comments about myself have power over them.
If someone gave me a compliment I responded as if they were blind or crazy. Them: “You do a beautiful job with your photography.” Me: “Oh gosh I don’t know, just doing what I love.” NO Michelle these people are genuinely admiring you and you thank them and BELIEVE it.
How I view myself is a direct reflection of how my children think and view themselves.
If they hear me engaging in negative body or self talk, always focusing on problematic areas of my body or life, my kids will get the impression that they cannot be good enough as they are.
What value was watching other peoples highlight reels adding to my life?What value was I adding to theirs?
Was I following people because they had a cute house or an inspiring body image or a lifestyle I longed for or was I following them because they were a kind person, a loving mother, a successful career woman, a leader, helpful community member.
Are they lovers of Christ or lovers of self?
Who are we loving?
Lovers of Self.
There is this huge cultural movement right now for “self love,” which I have a lot of questions about. Is it just taking time to feel refreshed with a bath or that Target run & a latte? Or is it a method of self reward or self recognition? Is self care the same as self love?
When scripture references self love, it speaks in 2 Timothy 3:1-5:
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Was I idolizing someone like that? Self love -or- Self obsession?
This is why I had to be careful with the path I was on. Loving myself is important don’t get me wrong but my mind battled this question: what is the difference between taking care of myself -and- loving myself to the “it’s all about me degree”? Are we self caring about ourselves too much?
And are we taking this loving ourselves to the next extreme? Synthetic accessories like body injections, extensions, cosmetic surgeries are being claimed as “self love”- is enhancing these things self love or are we just fixing the things we don’t love about ourselves?
Is dying our hair or wearing makeup any different?
We are full of broken perspectives of who we are and social media can confirm it.
This is uneven territory to speak on behalf of with an online audience so if you have any wisdom on this topic please share in the comments below, let this be a resource to learn and grow from!
DELETE>
My resolution…
I deleted Facebook from my phone.
I deleted Messenger from my phone.
I deleted SnapChat from my phone.
I deleted Pinterest from my phone.
I wasn’t inspired by them, I was inspired to be them.I deleted these apps not because they are bad, they were just bad for me. They did not bring out the best in me, they confirmed the enemy within me.
Discontent. Unthankful for what I have and WHO I AM.
I kept Instagram on my phone, simply because I make a living off of social media and this was the only platform I can’t manipulate via computer. I still visit Pinterest every now and then, check my Facebook a few times a week but it is limited to when I’m at my computer instead of at my disposal 24/7 on my phone.
I’m not advising you to delete any of that, this is just my resolution.
Why I’m telling you this.
Because what I was allowing my eyes to see online is what my heart started to believe. I am so damn blessed! At what point in my life did I get so sucked into social media to think that my farm was too shabby to invite people over to, the summer trips I didn’t take my kids on made me a bad mom, and there’s a mom of 3 who’s a total bae so I need to get up and run a billion miles on top of running 2 businesses and a farm because that’s what it takes to be.like.her.and.she.is.LIKED.
I don’t like that.
Satan had a hay day with me for far too long and guess what, I’m not alone. The more I talk about this awakening, the more confirming I hear of others in the struggle.
We cannot let Satan tell us the gifts God has given us spiritually, mentally, and physically aren’t good enough.
The Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
What does the Lord see when he looks at my heart? We must ask ourselves this. I’m so thankful for your following and want to keep sharing what we are up to on the homestead with you guys when my heart is called to do so.
Now let’s get off our smart phones and love someone for real! BYEEEE!
